I am struggling. I am struggling so bad. Since finding out I am pregnant in early September I have really slowed down on my running. I did a 1/2 Marathon with my sister in October .. which I have not written about.. because it was a heart breaker for me. If I can be completely honest- since that day.... I HAVE NOT RAN. I am hurting inside. The Cassey that fell in love with running again- she is hurting. My little boy has even started asking me to go run, or going out and putting himself in the stroller, and even asking me to go on a race with him... all in the past week. I say.. "We will later!" Later has yet to come.
I am struggling. I worked so hard to encourage so many people to start running and they ARE! I signed up for a Disney Princess Half Marathon in February to do with my best friend, sister, and mom... The biggest part of me does not even want to go to do it. HOW will I do it? I don't even run anymore? I am going to be six months pregnant. I need an intervention. I get so bitter sometimes when I see who I am becoming again. When I have no desire to be active... when that passion I had, I realize is gone.
I am struggling. When I read things on Facebook about amazing runs people have (especially people I know)... I cry. I cry because I want it to be me again. I am so proud of them- but it hurts me. But then on the flip side- it makes ZERO sense, because it is my fault. I guess this is when I need to say.. suck it up and quit feeling sorry for myself.. and do something about it.
I am struggling. I do not want to hit the pavement.. because I know HOW HARD 1 mile is going to be for me.. and I don't, don't, don't want to SEE that or FEEL that. I know when I go hit the sidewalk for my first run out, I am going to cry. Because I know where I was and where I am now and I just don't want to face it.
Please tell me that I am not the only one. Please tell me you have been through this? How did you handle it? I am now 13 weeks pregnant.. I have plenty of time to get running again, right? I need tips/advice/motivation. Something more than telling me to suck it up and do it. I need real tips.